Things that only men are capable of:

  • Sending men to the moon but not knowing how a dishwasher works
  • Being unable to tell the difference between an alleyway and a urinal
  • Honking their car horn when they see an attractive woman on the street.
  • Believe in the theory that if they honk their car horn in the street that women will instantly kick off their heels, run after you, and offer an instant blowjob.
  • Create amazing new forms of technology… and instantly figure out how to get porn on it
  • Create Ponzi schemes
  • Be promiscuous without being whores, apparently
  • Touching women on public transport in an inappropriate manner thinking “but look how she’s dressed” is an actual get out clause
  • Be God’s prophets, apparently
  • Creating female superheroes with big breasts only
  • Feeling the need to ‘prove’ their masculinity, even though women don’t need to prove their femininity
  • Genocide
  • Bringing a firearm into a high school
  • Thinking sperm is sacred
  • Be the number one perpetrator in every form of serious and violent crime
  • Inventing a date rape drug
  • Be a box-office draw in Hollywood after the age of forty
  • Be in a Hollywood movie where it is acceptable for your love interest to be half your age
  • Fail in a YouTube video involving a scooter, skateboard, dirt bike, bicycle, etc.
  • Cause every major war in history. Ever
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