Religion and Aliens

With this new book on religion and aliens (“Religions and Extraterrestrial Life” (Springer 2014), David Weintraub), I really do wonder how various groups would react if evidence of extra-terrestrial life was found. Or better still if we were actually visited by Martians. For one thing racism would end; it would be just us against them. So that can only be a good thing. But what about the fanatics, the brainwashed minority who are simply programmed the wrong way? Reckon extremists would dare start a holy war against E.T and his friends?

Picture the scene, Mr G. Had gets up in the morning and reviews his ‘to do’ list for the day:

Mr G. Had:

Hmm, let’s see, jihad on Israel, jihad on America. My blood sugar has gone through the roof, jihad on Reese’s Pieces! And now my fountain pen is starting to leak! OK, so jihad on Mont Blanc as well…

Follower:

Sir! The reports are true! The Martians have landed and have pointed the Death Star* right at us! They confirmed there is no such thing as God!

Mr G. Had:

Well, do I really have to spell it out? You know what to do by now. Give me a ‘J’, give me a ‘I’, give me a ‘H’…

Follower:

But, but, the Death Star!

Mr G. Had:

But nothing! Argh! I rue the day you were ever born! Jihad on prophylactics!

That’s exactly how it would happen, trust me. But how will everyone else in the world react? Let’s not be biased now:

Mormons: Life on other planets? I knew it all along!

Scientologists: Now this is what I paid my life savings for!

Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists: We don’t care. They kill us, fine. We’ll just get reincarnated and come back as one of them!

Jews: Meh, what are you going to do?

Christians are a bit of a mystery to me, they have more factions than the World of Warcraft , so I dunno. And then there are the atheists, such as myself (I’m sooo into atheism; I’m like a Shi’ite atheist). We’d probably just sit back with a drink and enjoy the fireworks. But there’s one significant group of people left: young people. Full of life, vigour, the world at their feet, untapped potential, brimming with youthful energy. Perhaps unsure of religion, still developing their spiritual side, what would they do? Take a selfie of course.

*I realise the Death Star has nothing to do with Martians, but it’s a gag, get over it… Wow, of all the groups of people mentioned I’m more concerned about offending Star Wars fans than anyone else!

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